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  • Writer's pictureN A O M I - R O S E

The Biological Nature of Men and Women…

Updated: Feb 15

And to understand that a man who ‘wants to’ -simply put- ‘will’ and ‘does’- where he is wanting and willing to pursue the woman he desires ‘without’ expectation of one-sided vulnerability and ‘pursuit of him’ on ‘her’ part alone (ego & mind games) -this has to do with his and her internal biological awareness by way of gender, male-female / estrogen or testosterone dominant.

Irrespective of the eternal Soul, born a woman, even in modern society, she is ‘biologically’ wired to ‘receive’ and nurture that which pursues her in ‘love’, to care for her in the commitment she desires, in the same way she will devote herself and care for the man that nurtures her with love, safety, and security- and together, their offspring.

She cannot be in her full Feminine Essence where she does not feel safe and secure or carrying the burden of pursuit or weight for both. Nor can she force safety and security 'from' the man she seeks out. She desires to be pursued monogamously, appreciated, and recognized for her feminine essence beyond her physical appearance: her Soul, her sensitivity, her intuition, her empathy, her feminine or motherly, nurturing, and caring nature and ability to sustain a home which is just as much “hard work” as, evolutionary speaking, a ‘man’s’ work whether outside or within the home in providing ‘for’ the home and the whole unit in his 'masculine' essence. Chopping wood for warmth in the home he built.

Men are biologically and ‘instinctively’ wired to compete and ‘work for' due recognition and success- akin to the “hunter” in what they want to achieve to solidify their place within their home and within society; to be seen and respected as he desires: protector, provider, ‘strong’, ‘hardworking’ and ‘successful’ for ‘having’ ‘achieved’ the prize as a result of what he sets out for with ‘purpose’ from the core Soul and 'biological' need to work for it...this 'work' 'pursuit' and 'action' feeds his innate sense ‘of’ power and purpose as a pursuer, protector, provider for whom he deems his complimentary equal.

Her work is different than his, a task made for women concerning ‘childbirth’ and child-nurturing and rearing, managing the home as well as the physical, developmental, and emotional needs of her kin- inner ‘accomplishment’ in his and her  ‘natural’ biological ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ essence respectively, is always nudging from the standpoint of evolutionary DNA -as well as within progressive society.

Nevertheless, in modern times, no matter who he is, no matter what kind of public notoriety or wealth he possesses or not, he will be the ‘perpetual’ bachelor/ “player” as long as he remains conditioned by ‘anything’ he sets his eyes on, whom he ‘gets’ in bed with little to no effort. As she will remain the 'perpetual' chaser and pursuer, disappointend time and again when she is not loved properly because she does not love herself properly. Failing to recognize the Love is within her already and she need not compromise her feminine essence in the first place.

Soul satisfaction, on the contrary, lies in his action-based pursuit of his dreams, with the drive to follow through in providing the security and stability for the woman he is able to pursue naturally, the woman he deems respectable and deserving of his commitment.

Complimentary. The woman ‘worthy’ of his ‘work’ and he being worthy of ‘hers’ - no power struggles for control - as well as caring together for those within his care whom he is loved and respected by, and equally respects, loves, and devotes to with 'biological' purpose in providing security and safety for.

He wants to be challenged or it doesn’t feel truly fulfilling. He is 'wired' for the hunt by nature- as well as the vulnerability required in pursuit of, enough to challenge himself in his own masculine-feminine balance, toward his ultimate Soul-satisfying fulfillment, which means ‘nothing’ that is just ‘handed to him’ on a silver platter or thrown on his lap that he didn't have to work for--he institinctively desires the kind of woman who unwittingly forces him into his biological nature - and to have the opportunity 'to' pursue and 'court' properly at all.

And all the same as he would go after his career of choice, challenging and driving himself to climb the ladder of promotions with the ‘job well done’, and receiving due recognition by his boss and colleagues for his hard work and success in creativity, leadership, and integrity of character he holds himself to within his craft, environment, and community.

He is rarely satisfied for long when it comes ‘too easy’ as ‘too easy’ is reduced to ‘temporary’ satisfaction and no real accomplishment. He does not truly thrive on handouts. Just as it would be for a masculine ‘hunter’ in caveman days, who woke up every day with the ‘kill’ magically walking itself to his bedside and waking him up, ready to be stabbed and thrown on the stone grill. No skill or effort in obtaining it. He goes back to sleep and lacks drive and purpose in himself.

Yet, as he grows accustomed to being in his ‘feminine’ (receptive) energy alone when it comes to intimacy of any kind; the women who pursue him stand in their dominant masculine energy, deeming him the target of their ‘feminine’ expectations fulfilled, simultaneously emasculating him, in throwing themselves at him at all, just to position him into submission.

He begins to ‘expect’ the same agenda from ‘every’ woman, internalizing the idea that ‘true Love’ doesn’t exist and that all women are calculating, using sex as a means to obtain loyalty; and throwing themselves at him to use him for their own self-centered agenda—even if it truly is just a cheap thrill and he can go right back to sleep after.

So he only attracts more of what he deems the “standard" modern woman. He doesn’t stop to process that ‘like attracts like.’ And without fulfilling his innate need to work for his accomplishments, he lacks true purpose with anything or anyone that does not validate his biological nature and allow him to 'work' for it.

All the same, women who already have the material security but don't have love - who are willing to ‘be the huntress ‘for’ ‘him’ ‘in wearing the pants’ of pursuit to only further fulfill some “sugar mama” ideas of a “progressive” role they believe will win his loyalty over- leading him to believe he is the ultimate king who should have whatever he wants at the snap of a finger, requiring no real input of effort on his part.

This creates an unhealthy imbalance within himself of his own masculine-feminine energy, which conflicts with his true biological essence, irrespective of the modern era in which he lives. Not to equate this to a stay home man-dad v an 'outside the home' -working one in modern times. That’s a different kind of ‘progressive’ where all elements are still in tact concerning ‘complimentary’ ascribed roles between the two of their ‘one’ unit front to function as a whole, meeting all the needs of those within the home.

Nevertheless, therein he continues to have a wandering eye even with the next woman by his side that he did ‘not’ have to work for to get the milk for free, but settles for a period of time, before the next lusty, pretty thing catches his eye and is in pursuit of him, he thus continues the cycle of 'affairs' and internalizing "grass is greener" or that all women are the same in modern times including the one he is lying to, believing she has done the same from the go.

He remains in a state of perpetual projection of ‘skewed’ psychology and transactional, self-centered attachment, grounded in base-ego, based on his experiences as the 'pursued' 'prize' himself.

The deeper fulfillment and solid investment in what comes ‘too easy’ no matter how physically beautiful or accomplished the woman is, is far more difficult for him to experience with her in any real depth of emotional intimacy, as she throws herself at him at the drop of a dime while then presenting ultimatums every time--the woman whom he (internally) doesn’t hold the highest respect for, having been the dominant one, emasculated by - as though she wears the pants and he must stay in check, if not in competition with her; as he continues to deem her insecure because she has taken ‘from’ him the need to work for ‘her’ affection or to work at all in getting to truly know her. No matter how many times he disrespects her, he knows she'll be in his bed anyway the moment he turns on the charm and is wanting a fix.

Yet she gave him no opportunity to pursue her and truly get to know her (before her body) in the first place no matter how much time has passed - being in 'hunter' 'conquerer' mode herself, imbalanced in her 'own' masculine-feminine energy, ever continuously out of balance with him.

She believes she can win his love and adoration through persistency, seduction and sex, although he’s already decided her worth or lack of - and regardless of her sex, wealth or possessions, he plays along. Again, always taking the ‘easy’ way and allowing himself to 'be pursued' to the point of expectation that he always will be.

She gives away the milk for free, so that initially he assumes for her it’s ’just sex’ as it is for him, charming for ‘good times’ —he's one of a number just as she is- that is until, she drops the "drama" bomb, wanting him to work for the cow herself, commit to her and only her, and this doesn’t make sense to him. As she presented an illusion of herself and her own expectations of him, right off the bat.

Why should he ‘work for her’ to be with her, after she deceived him with her intentions, just as she deems him to have deceived her only 'after' she pursues him and gets him in bed. He may pretend to, but ultimately he doesn’t trust nor respect her, regardless of what she has or not. And ultimately, vice versa, for the woman acting as the 'huntress' calculating and ready to devour him into her own submission, constantly betraying herself and her own deeper feminine essence and needs.

He recognizes her power struggle with him and the superficiality of their “relationship” off the bat, which isn’t fulfilling to him on any kind of deeper Soul level. Nor does he deem her as an honest, reliable, or trustworthy, loyal longterm partner when she shows up even after he disrespects her time and again, or tries to buy his affection and commitment with more seduction, sex , and materiality. Same tools he uses on her.

"Typical calculating temptress” he decides, as he is the same, and he doesn’t trust her, much more have the desire to ‘work’ for her satisfaction ‘outside’ the bedroom, as she made it too easy for him from day one bringing herself straight to his bed for the taking.

And when a man does not respect a woman who seemingly does not respect herself, regardless of what she ‘says’, he sees that her actions are conflicting and he does not ‘truly’ fall in love with ‘her’ past her looks and sexual or material provisions—as he recognizes her deep insecurities and plays on them, his need for control is no better than hers, therefore he ‘cannot’ fulfill her own ultimate Soul desire for security out if him, and to be ‘truly’ loved and cared for, when any true respect for her is lacking.

He sees her as needy, calculating, and manipulative. She sees him as 'lacking' the drive, failing to see her worth, as she fails to remember she chose to take the wheel 'from' him to attempt driving for him in the first place, and chose to be available to him no matter what time or hour of the day he is calling for attention from her.

He cannot fulfill her expectations of him after she denied him of his own biological nature, as she did ‘not’ allow him ‘to work for her affection’ and getting to know 'her' before her body, in the first place. She chased with persistence and gave herself to him completely, and only after the fun and games and giving away the milk for free, she feels like an option, so demands his respect, time, loyalty, commitment, and devotion- presenting ultimatums of control thereafter. She is jealous of any other woman that catches his eye and she threatens him if he tries to leave her.

He begins to resent her even more. He rejects her, even while sticking around, deciding she was never honest to begin with and feels emasculated by her in such states of ultimatums using her sex, money, threats, or notoriety and influence over the community as a weapon for control. Even sex with her, where he caves to her demands, or vice versa, is no longer satisfying as there is no ‘true’ emotional intimacy, nurturing, or trust between. Which goes without saying, is a recipe for more drama, walking on eggshells, mind games, power struggles, disappointment, and heartache, respectively both ways.

And in a so called “progressive” world of "dating" and women deciding they can do anything a man can and “better” - ‘wearing the pants’, dating apps, and social media stalking over talking, coupled with unrealistic beauty standards achieved through filters and edits - unrealistic expectations that come with veering away from the biological nature as men and women, respectively, aging and evolving gracefully - truly worth ‘more’ than their physical (altered) appearance- for ‘show’ and competition- inadvertently bringing about their own demise where there is no real self-love, worth, and emotional depth in intimacy nor trust, just lust and competition with the social world, breeding more 'facades' and unhealthy attachment, no True Soul satisfaction with one another, but a nice game of “pretend” for keeping up appearances.

The modern world of “dating” is base, lusty, superficial ‘hook-ups’ on a menu - with higher than ever rates of STDs, unwanted pregnancies, divorce, or painful, short-lived ‘intense’ escapades, leaving ‘unaware’ and ‘unrealistic’ men and women feeling used and resentful- women having taken the work (role) out of it for the man in the first place, yet expecting him to change and meet her expectations “or else” - while she has no intention of walking away or letting him walk away -either way- regardless of her threats, or promise to sabotage his life and any relationship he seeks out should he leave her.

In her desperation for him to truly love her and stay with her, when the sex or money isn’t enough to keep him, she will go as far as to blackmail him, secretly go off her birth control and try to get pregnant by him to ‘lock him down’ with a lifelong responsibility to her, where she holds the power to destroy him if she wants to  - if not ‘lie’ and say she is pregnant when she’s not, as one more means to stop him from leaving her.

In the process disrespecting herself further, and in his mind ‘manipulating’ and ‘emasculating’ him even more, as she has taken upon herself from the get go, ‘his’ biological role of hunter, chaser, and pursuer—she, off the bat, had compromised her own ultimate ‘receptive feminine’ essence, therefore her own ultimate Soul fulfillment with him having to 'work' to 'know' her - and the same way she got him, she fears, will be the same way she loses him - calculated manipulation - having not been forthright at the go.

And in so doing, women have equally placed upon ‘themselves’ their own feminine burden and demise, yet all the same, blame the man when he doesn’t behave according to her demands 'after' her sexual conquest out of him. She threatens him, yet no matter how many times he breaks her (already) broken trust, she’s ready to take him back, jump in his bed, knowing he doesn’t ultimately respect or love her at all, no matter how charming he can be. She knows she will wake up feeling lonelier and more abandoned even with him in her bed. This drives her as mad as she drives him.

She grows increasingly needy and manipulative as he grows increasingly discontent with her “drama” and insecurities to the point of losing attraction for her altogether. Within the modern world of dating apps, escapades, and sexual fantasies a man desires with her for no other reason than she’s presenting as the pursuer, submissive, and ‘easy’ lay; she’s available at his beck and call, and persistent in her pursuit of him, at all costs, willing to please him in any way he asks of her—and he knows this--even as he continues to disrespect her, while she continues downplaying to herself her ‘true’ Soul desire for ‘True’ Love and partnership, she adopts the ‘think like a man’ ideas of “it’s just sex” until she's given away all her feminine essence for free and feels betrayed by herself while blaming him.

So she gives one more piece of her feminine reserves, hoping he or the ‘next’ when she loses all her 'false' sense of power with him- will turn in to what she ‘ultimately’ desires, though she makes ‘no’ change in her approach or understanding of the reasons ‘why’ she is continuously disrespected by him and that 'next' and 'next' and 'next' one she throws herself at, is 'him' in another body, yet again she refuses to walk away or allow him to. So from her 30s to 60s she is still stuck in the same cycle.

Regardless of being self-sufficient monetarily, she is an emotionally-co-dependent woman needing the attention of the man she pursues to “conquer..” She is the woman who will allow herself to be taken advantage of again and again. She cannot be alone standing in her Essence and Power, confidently single, thus needy, insecure, and willing to beg for what he sees no real value in providing her when her money or looks are no longer appealing to him. He never had deep emotions for her to begin with. He never ‘had’ the opportunity to pursue her or work for the milk.

And even if she ‘conquers her pursuit’ for a period of time-created in the process is an imbalance of masculine and feminine energy within both- breeding more insecurity, competitive and possessive tendencies, to comparison with other men and women deemed ‘untrustworthy’ around ‘her’ ‘object’ of ‘conquest’- even if those ‘others’ are entirely platonic. Everyone becomes a threat to her ‘conquest.’

She is constantly comparing herself to any other woman she feels threatened by, trying to morph into some version she deems he can truly love, and in fear of losing his attention and affection she tries harder. The harder she tries, the more annoyed and resentful towards her, he becomes. Seeing her as all the more insecure, his attitude towards her, which he can’t help—having no real respect for her, only drives her insecurities deeper.

She holds a hyper-fixation on any woman she deems threatening or more original, talented, confident, independent, self loving, self-respecting, dignified, or authentic than her insecure-based, false portrayal of—and she fears losing the subject of her affection to a woman who does ‘not’ compromise her natural feminine essence nor ‘his’ natural ‘masculine’ biological essence by way of gender, knowing inevitably ‘this’ would be the kind of woman he chooses to be with longterm if he was going to marry at all; the one he deems worthy and fit to be his wife to “take him off the market” because she does not nag, chase, or compete for him or compromise her feminine values and virtues.

He is proud to be by her side ‘because’ she is a woman of integrity, healthy confidence, dignity, self-respect, self-love, and virtue. In his eyes, her love and affection, devotion,  ‘is’ the prize that she ‘allowed’ ‘him’ to work for because she knows her worth and does not compromise for him or cheap thrills with anyone. She is not afraid to walk away from anything or anyone that disrespects her. She would rather be alone than in any type of attention-seeking, power struggle with a man.

She ‘never’ forces him to do anything. Nor forces him to choose her. She is not a “pick me” and he acts in the purity of his own Soul at this point, out of his ultimate desire for a mind, body, Soul-satisfying Life Partner as well. One he deems in the opposite light of the women who throw themselves at him.

She is what he never thought he’d find. As the woman who knows that she’s denied her own essence, then blames the woman who doesn’t, setting out to sabotage her, rather than learning from her. Likewise, the more the man grows accustomed to ‘not’ working for what just comes that easy- he grows arrogant, egotistical, and imbalanced in his ‘own’ masculine-feminine energy, so much so conditioned by his experience with women that he projects on to ‘all’ women the same way, therefore, conditioned to play the game the same if it’s ‘only’ sex in his mind, “flirt just enough, then sit back and let em’ come to me” If he is never faced with the 'challenge' of truly pursuing and courting a woman, he is equally the perpetual bachelor from mid twenties to 60's...

It’s not ‘until’ he ‘loses’ a ‘quality’ woman to the realization that not ‘all’ women will compromise their feminine essence for him, or play into such mind games and power struggles—that he has grown to reduce intimacy to ‘sexual conquests’ alone. Which, once again, life experiences with other women have suggested he ‘doesn’t have to work’ for. Because the woman who stands in her receptiveness of feminine essence, worth, power, and value is turned ‘off’ by his attitude.

The woman who does ‘not’ wish to pursue any man not taking the lead with her on his own, as she would ‘not’ be the one taking the ‘work’ ‘away from him’ in receiving her heart, Soul, body, affection, and loyalty through consistent devotion and pursuit—valuing her own biological essence, innate psychology, and dignity.

This is the woman who is ‘not’ turned ‘on’ like he’s  a challenge to her, but turned ‘off’ by his ego and arrogance in even ‘attempting’ to get her to compromise her feminine essence and chase him into submission, as he comes in and out playing hard to get. She eye rolls his tactics the way he eye rolls the women who throw themselves at him. This is not a match of virtues and values for her, she lovingly decides.

Nor is she the woman who will compromise the man’s natural biological essence she knows is in the core of his being—just to fulfill any ‘unrealistic’ (in her mind)  expectation of ‘his’ ego projected ‘on to her’ that he’s grown accustomed to receiving from every other woman, without work.

There’s no ‘loss to cut’ with him in her mind, as he doesn’t present as a ‘loss’ at all -to her virtues and values. She may love him truly at the Soul level, but loves God, and herself more and values her own dignity and virtues. She speaks her piece and moves on peacefully, knowing ‘The One’ for her is never going to play games or ghost at all. She’s best off moving on.

He grows obsessed with such a woman, but must now face his expanded (ego) shadow side in order to find his Light—‘healthy’ confidence and masculinity, action based willingness to commit to what he truly desires out of Life and pursue her rather than waiting on her to pursue him, as he recognizes she will not—and that he must get past his fears of rejection to even approach her honestly and humbly—he admires her intuitive ability to separate herself from what doesn’t serve her true value and worth. And that when she says “actions speak louder than words” - she means it.

Because she absolutely will not compromise her own self respect and dignity - and though she’s turned off by him, she understands him on a broader scale and a deeper Soul level, therefore wishes him true growth and discovery of his ‘true’ core- in the biological sense of the term that makes him feel as though he’s truly confident in his masculinity ‘and’ femininity-in living a purpose driven, meaningful life as a ‘man’ by way of gender.

And it takes time for him to face the reality of such in himself, from within, and to recognize that she is the challenge and Life lesson he needed to encounter just to realize that he ‘can’ step into his ‘biological masculine essence’ again and be respected, admired, and cared for in return, by what it is he truly longs for at his core, and going after it, as a result of ‘not’ expecting ‘any’ woman to compromise her feminine essence or ‘wear the pants’ of pursuit with him. He deeply admires her for this, regardless of how angry he becomes with her ‘not’ feeding in to his intentional games….he is humbled by her, nevertheless.

This integrity, dignity, and self-respect she possesses, he sees as ‘truly’ feminine and truly sexy- which he truly longs for. He begins to have an obsession with her identity as a secure, Spiritual-minded feminine. This obsession then leads him to the deepest ‘respect’ ‘for’ her as his resentment fades, his humility arrives deeper, and his respect grows to feelings of ‘true’ Love for her. Only in losing her, and recognizing why, he deems her ‘The One’ and he only knows it because he’s never truly been ‘scared’ to lose any woman without a chance of her return. He questions “is this the real ‘Real’ Love?” which feels like a foreign concept to him.

All he knows is that he does ‘not’ want to lose her to his egoic ‘player’ ‘come to me’ ways and superficial hook ups with women. He recognizes her spiritual abundance in self-love and self-respect, that she would never stick around to be an “option” for anyone, and he can’t help but see how valuable she truly is to his heart and Soul in ways that no other woman has ever triggered him into questioning.

She is an asset, ‘not’ a roadblock, to his happiness, empowerment, inner growth and success in human-Soul development in being a ‘healthy’ confident man. She is intimidating to him in this way, though she does not seek to be while simply standing in her Dignity, Truth, and Light without a thought to it, and he cannot take his mind off her and now ‘himself’ and how ‘he’ failed to recognize ‘quality’ while projecting onto her as he had done with every other woman throwing herself at him with little to no effort of pursuit of his own. Deciding the pick of the litter would ‘always’ be his own call and within his ‘own’ control—certainly not any woman’s.

Nor can he compare any other woman to her who made it that ‘easy’ for him to ‘not’ respect because there is no comparison; regardless of physical appearance, her essence and inner beauty makes her the most beautiful creature he’s laid eyes on, and never gets bored thinking about as he finds himself constantly triggered from those deeper layers at the thought of her being with another man.

She stands in her authenticity, originality, self-love, respect—her Light. She does not allow any man or woman to dim it. Unwittingly she holds a mirror up for him to remember himself and his inner beauty of Soul purpose; his ability to find balance between his own masculine and feminine essence—prior to his conditioned mindset in the ‘conquest’ department- he doesn’t ‘do’ the pursuing, he ‘is’ the pursued, as this has been his overall experience. Why should he change his approach now…

Instinctually he ‘is’ triggered by his Soul and ego at the same time—he is conflicted, seeking to satisfy his own biological nature with a woman ‘not’ taking the “hunter” or “pursuer” out of him, ‘not’ taking the lead and ‘work’ ‘away’ from him, understanding his deeper needs in his own masculine essence, not just in career but in longterm, Soul-satisfying partnership for the ultimate fulfillment in a relationship all the same—which does not happen through control and manipulation of another as he is forced to come to terms with. He could never control her. But for the first time, he doesn’t want to. As he asks again “what does this mean?"

He is triggered by her confidence yet begins to recognize himself as deeper than he ever allowed ‘any’ woman in enough to witness, and the desire to fulfill his ‘Soul’ yearning over the yearning of his body alone, he is now faced with an existential crisis of identity, as he is now in the position of being challenged by his ‘true’ biological essence, triggered by the woman he questions “real love” for from a ‘Soul’ not ego, level.

Likewise for the woman pursued by a man she is truly interested in, she falls in love with him, respects him, and ‘trusts’ the safety and security he is offering her not just with his words for some quick lay in the sheets, but his ‘conscientious’ and consistent ‘actions’ to show her that she’s truly ‘The’ one and 'only' for him. Witnessing him stand in his ‘healthy’ ‘masculine’ confidence and humility, her intuition is no longer screaming at her to “get out” but to “stay” —give him a chance, and let him 'all’ the way in to her heart and Soul, because he has 'worked' for her in this way.

Yes, despite the modern era, ancient biological psychology remains seeded in the Soul and essence of every human being since cave man days, whether masculine dominant or feminine dominant, it’s in the DNA of ‘gender’ - and was designed in such a way to be equally and mutually ‘complimentary’ -not competitive, aggressive, nor dominating with one another, at the Soul fulfillment level where true intimacy is had between ‘two’ as ‘one’ unified unit together - ‘freely’ choosing one another in a Love that ‘grows’ rather than lust that ‘goes’🕊️

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